How to Deal with a Controlling Husband

A “happy” marriage is blissful indeed provided both the partners understand each other well and are able to adjust harmoniously. This is an ideal situation, but human relations are unpredictable. Emotions of respective partner vary and a spouse or rather the husband may turn out to be a very controlling and a demanding husband. Coping up with such a person requires a lot of patience, and marriage may result in a divorce, if the wife feels that she is unable to tolerate such a person.

Usually, husband behaves in such domineering manner on account of his past being rather insecure. His parents may have given him the feeling of abandonment, and naturally he wants to control the person he loves. People behave according to the manner in which they were brought up. It is essential to know about his past moorings to appreciate a husband’s behavior. No woman would like her freedom to be curtailed and that too by someone with whom she has to live forever.

Most men do not know that they are controlling husbands. It comes to them naturally, and many wives perceive it as their nature and accommodate with them. Some are submissive by nature, so it is not an issue with them. Only, if the wife is equally dominating or is conscious of her rights as a wife that the situation gets out of hand. If the wife does not accommodate her controlling husband’s behavior, then it can result in uncalled for marital fights.

Why does a husband control his husband excessively?

• He may be insecure.
• He may feel that his father did not control his mother adequately, which resulted in a messy life for him.
• His possessive nature may make him control his wife.
• If his wife happens to be very attractive, then he might dominate her more in order to retain an upper hand.
• Influenced by social prestige that he is in command of his house, the husband tends to control his wife.

Naturally, for a wife who has a controlling husband, it becomes essential to find ways and means to deal with the situation.

How to avoid marital confrontation on account of a controlling husband?

Here are some suggestions:

• Try to be as patient as possible.
• Avoid confrontation as it would add “fuel to the fire”.
• Try to reason out if possible.
• Understand the reason why he is behaving that way.
• Look into his past and see why he is behaving in this manner. Perhaps, it would be possible then to appreciate him better.
• Do not give into all his whims and fancies right from the initial stage of the relationship. At the same time try not offending him but react in a pleasant manner.
• Be sensitive towards him rather than resenting his behavior as he is what he is on account of his past conditioning.
• Avoid defying him and that would just flare up tempers.
• Try to heal his wounded feeling from the past by understanding him.

Now, with love marriages on the rise and divorce being an option, wives refuse to tolerate their husband’s unacceptable behavior. Love is a strong emotion, and a partner can understand his or her spouse well; nevertheless, an overbearing attitude is not liked and it is necessary for a spouse to appreciate the viewpoint of his or her partner as well. Yet, human emotions are unpredictable and one of the spouse may tend to gain control over his spouse and this is usually the husband as his male ego cannot be compromised at any cost.

How does controlling husband react to a dominating wife?

A controlling husband does not appreciate if he is challenged by his wife and this usually happens if the wife is dominating.

What does he expect of his wife?

• She must comply to his wishes.
• The wife must not retaliate.
• He must be the man of the house.
• The controlling husband must be aware of the movements of his wife.
• The wife must be answerable to him.
• At all times, he must have control over his wife.

Marital harmony is difficult to maintain and an overbearing husband can at times cause friction between spouses. Yet, controlling his spouse is something that a controlling husband gets habituated to, it is but natural that the wife has to be understanding and try her level best to avoid differences in marital approaches. The wife has to give in to the fancies of the controlling husband. This would mean peace on the home front and a successful marriage.