Sahib, Biwi Aur Ghulam, Guide, Silsila, Kabhi Alvida Na Kahna, Murder, Jism; all these movies have a common theme- Extra-marital affair. What is it that makes partners stray? Is it just the physical gratification or something beyond that? Why do people give up their “almost perfect” marriage for a relationship which is socially unacceptable? What is it that compels men and women to cheat on their partners and live in guilt? Infidelity in marriage is not a contemporary phenomenon. It has been there since ages and chances are it will be there till the end of the world. So, what exactly are the reasons for people to indulge in a relationship outside marriage? Let us examine some of the potential causes of extra-marital affairs.
Problem in marriage: If the marriage is strong nothing can break it. If the marriage is weak nothing can save it. Marital discord and problems lead to partners finding comfort in other relationships. Dissatisfaction in the matrimony will create atmosphere for the partners to cheat.
Physical needs: Many a time the physical needs of both or either of the partners remain unfulfilled. The reasons might be lack of communication, inhibition, mindset etc. When the sexual needs of an individual is not being taken care of by the spouse then he/she might look for it outside.
Emotional bonding: It would be unfair to say that all the affairs are an outcome of physical desires. Marriage which has emotional vacuum cannot survive either. If a person feels emotionally connected to someone other than the spouse then it might lead to an extra marital affair.
For the thrill: Sometimes the thrill, adventure and the excitement of such a fling can tempt people into it. The boredom in marriage and the routine life can force married individuals to find other avenues to break the monotony. It’s like going on a roller-coater ride.
Polygamy: Human beings, like animals, are polygamous by nature. The society and culture have forced monogamy on us. When the basic animal instinct takes the better of us then we act on our impulses. Particularly men tend to give in to such impulses easily.
Attention: We all crave for attention. When the partner neglects us or takes us for granted we turn to other people for attention. It all begins with this simple need and make its way to an extra marital affair. We kind of become addicted to the pampering.
Love: Yes, unfortunately many people find love after marriage. Love is such a strong emotion that we can sacrifice anything for that heady feeling. This is all the more true for loveless marriage where relationship is just a matter of convenience.
Work Atmosphere: Our crazy working hours keep us away from our spouses and give us many opportunities to have affairs with colleagues, superiors or subordinates. Both the sexes work in close proximity; have common work experience and share similar problems. Such a situation is ideal to get involved in a relationship outside marriage.
Economic Freedom: Earlier it was mostly men who would have affairs. But now even women are getting involved in relationships outside their marriage. Financial freedom has made women more vocal about their wants and needs. Unlike the previous generation, women do not need men to support them. Therefore, they are free to walk out of marriage.
For revenge: It might sound very sadistic but sometimes people have affairs simply to take revenge on their partners. Having a relationship out of wedlock is an ultimate way of destroying the partner’s ego. In such a situation the cheating spouse makes no effort to hide the fling.