Philosopher William James (1842-1910), said, “The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”
A healthy marriage thrives on love, understanding, respect and transparency. But there is one more thing that makes a marriage healthy and happy – appreciation for each other. While it is a well-known fact that women are more expressive than men, it is also an established fact that men go unappreciated for most of their lives. And they do not ask for it, much unlike women. However, marriage is hard work, and to close on during difficult times, it is important to let each other know how to love and appreciated they are.
13 Ways to shower your husband with appreciation
Though sex is a very important part of a happy marriage, there are a number of non-sexual ways to show your husband that you care and appreciate all that he does for you and the family. You need not be a sex goddess in bed to make your man feel special and loved. Or say ‘I love you a hundred times to show how much you love him. All it takes is just translate love into actions – things that you do that spell love. Actions speak louder than words, and here are some brilliant ideas to get you started.
1. Be respectful to your husband
Are you someone who keeps nagging and complaining about everything that goes slightly haywire from your plan? Do you crib your life with him or his work? Then you need to stop right now and start to respect his opinions, ideas, and choices. Make him feel valued by asking his opinion on matters that require both of your considerations. Be honest if you do not like or agree with something, but be subtle and never cross the line of respect.
2. Encourage your husband
Whether it is his goals, be sure to encourage him and support him in achieving them. You could help him shape his best ideas into tangible plans of action. Take pride in his small achievements and brace for bigger ones. If he fails, do not de-motivate him by belittling him – instead, help him get back together. If you feel he has the capability of being successful, be by his side in all his struggles and watch him become the best version of himself.
3. Spend some one-on-one time
Life is busy, and the initial excitement of together fading away a few years into the marriage. Family responsibilities, careers, social commitments and many other things make it difficult for a couple to find their ‘we’ time. No matter how busy you are, chalk out a few minutes every day for just the two of you. Husbands do not ask for much to feel loved, and this simple gesture will make them feel valued and appreciated.
4. Listen to your husband, without interrupting
Men are often said to be poor when it comes to communication – but could it be because they do not get a chance to speak out? Though it is tempting to complete your husband’s sentences because you know him so very well (or because you are too impatient for him to finish), listening to his focus on what he is saying could really make him feel appreciated and respected. Stay calm when he struggles to find the words, and do not give in to the temptation to air your opinion before he asks for it.
5. Sweet nothings to boost him
A love note in his lunch. A text wishing him the best for the challenging presentation. A peck on the cheek as he leaves for work or a lovable brush against him when you pass by – these small gestures can make anyone feel special and loved. Feel and look happy when you see each other after a long day at work and watch his face light up.
6. Thank you cards
Your husband may not need a card with fancy words and rhyming wishes, but he will truly treasure a card that has sincere feelings translated into words. Give detailed reasons why you appreciate him so much, and how thankful you are to him for doing his best for the family. While he reads your words of love, his heart will melt for you, and he will become more determined in providing his family with the best of everything.
7. Never badmouth your husband
When you badmouth your husband, eventually it comes back to him in one way or the other. Make it a point to ditch this dirty habit. Instead of letting the world know what he did or does wrong, focus on what he does the best. Brag about him to your friends when he can hear, feel proud to have him and make sure he knows you love him.
8. Pamper your husband
Who doesn’t love being pampered and taken care of? Once in a while, let him have a day to himself, chilling and drinking beer watching TV. Or give him an off from his daily household chores and let him relax. You can give him a back rub or massage his feet while the two of you are soaking the sun together. Cook his favourite meal and serve in style. Let him hang around with his friends without asking questions. He will truly feel pampered and may return the favour soon!
9. Ask for advice and follow it
There is one thing about all men – they feel valued and special when someone asks for their advice. On a matter that concerns you both as a family, ask for his advice and follow it. Nothing will give his ego more boost than this, and you may get some ideas when you really need some help!
10. Share his life and passions
The next time you are in the house he grew up in or in the same town he spent his years, ask him to show you around. He may let you know some of his childhood anecdotes. His best memories will spring to life as you take a cruise down the old times. As the two of you laugh the silly things off, you may feel having inched much closer to him while he will feel you really care because you have been listening to his stories. It’s a beautiful feeling when you share a life with each other.
11. Love your husband unconditionally
Conditional love is not true love, and we all know this. Make sure you understand that marriage works only when two people accept each other as they are and show unconditional love. Do not hold grudges against him. Forgive easily and move to make some good memories. Be positive, show love and love will come your way too.
12. Take care of your appearance
You may not be the Goddess or a Bollywood heartthrob, but you are the most important person in your husband’s life. You may be busy and neglecting how you look, and this could reflect badly on your marriage. Husbands feel value when their wives greet them with a smile and some good looks when they come back home from a long day. Before he is due to arrive, do your hair and put on some lipstick and wear clean clothes. Go to the parlour regularly and take care of how you look and feel at all times.
13. Keep your home clean and organized
When your husband comes home, let your home give him a warm and welcome look and feel. A clean, organized home with just the right hint of lighting and a smiling, well-dressed wife – which man would not feel appreciated when he gets these two things?
No one can be good at everything they say and do, but most of us are good at many things. When you share a marriage, you both hold the responsibility to make each other feel special and wanted. Do your bit in making your husband feel valued, and he may also return the favor. These small efforts work as huge motivations for each of us to do better. And getting love is an additional bonus. Shine in love, bask in respect, and radiate in the pride of having each other.