Marriage is a life long commitment. Couples have to spend rest of their lives together, that is if they want to do so. No doubt, there is no such thing as an ideal marriage, but yet partners like to make a success of their marriage. Since both have never lived together, they would like to have a courtship to get to know each other.
Courtship is an arrangement of couples meeting each other before their engagement or marriage. A courtship can be after all be a private affair or perhaps can be proclaimed publicly by holding a reception for close family or friends.
The couples may either go out in public or talk privately over telephone or email text. Since in the West, it is a common affair, most couples do not keep it as a secret. In the Eastern countries, it is not appreciated, and therefore couples meet clandestinely.
In the West, couples date each other for a while before marrying. They prefer to know each other before they commit themselves to a long time arrangement. In the East, this is not so, although nowadays in the urban areas many young people are going on dates before marrying. Traditionally, marriages are arranged by parents, and the couples usually do not get to know each other. In some cases, the parents allow them to spend few hours together, but not more than that. This may sound very medieval to the Westerner, but for Easterners, like those from India and Pakistan, this is a very normal practice.
Why a courtship before marriage?
Courtship for some couples is a must as they feel there are several advantages such as:
- One can come to know the other person’s faults and weaknesses.
- Couples will come to know whether they can live under the same roof.
- One will come to know each other’s intimate feelings and thoughts. Also any differences in opinion that could affect their relationship can also come to the forefront.
- Communication between the couples will smoothen out during courtship.
- In case they are not made for each other, they just call it quits.
One will get to know each other’s temperaments and thus be able to asses whether they can adjust with each other.
What are the disadvantages of courtship
- As the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt . The couples may not like each other and it is possible one may not find the “right†person.
- The “fun†of getting to know each other after marriage may not be there. In India, for example, couples only come to know each other after their marriage.
- Even in courtship, it is possible for a partner not to reveal all of his or her thoughts. The chances of deceit are there. Sometimes a person poses to be somebody that he or she actually is not. In other words, one can get cheated.
- One person may like the other person, whereas the other person may not reciprocate the same feelings. This would mean that one person can get disappointed in the relationship.
Whatever may be the pitfalls of courtship, couples in urban areas now like to know each other. Courtship is social norm in the West and is catching in the East!